The first thing I wrote when observing the alley behind my flat for the first time was, “Not what it is, but what my brain thinks it is. How does my brain fill in the gaps when it doesn’t have all the info?” Initially, I approached the space at night when sight was limited to what a singular dim streetlamp illuminated. This left a lot of room for my brain to fill in the gaps where shadows and darkness obscured clear observation. While this meant that factual information was somewhat limited, it allowed for my mind to open itself to what could be, rather than what actually is. As I experienced strong emotional responses while observing the space over subsequent weeks, this idea of what could be vs. what is remained at the forefront of my mind.
In the article “On Patterns and Proxies, or the Perils of Reconstructing the Unknown” by Wendy Hui Kyong Chun, the question is asked: what role do images (or proxy-stand-ins of the actual thing) play in combating climate change? Rather than summarizing the article, I wish to point out a general concept that stood out to me as I explored different methods of investigation; a proxy for a thing, with all its interpretations, can be just as powerful a representation (if not more so) than the thing itself. Chun says, “Proxies both reduce and introduce uncertainty. By bridging the unknown or absent, they introduce the specter of the unknowable.” As I experimented with different and oftentimes very literal methods of investigation, I continued to be drawn to a more abstracted approach to represent the way I felt in the space, rather than what it actually was. I wanted to create a proxy of the space, one that conveyed the unknowable, complex emotions I felt in the alley rather than representing it as it truly was. I didn’t want to remove interpretation by listing facts, but rather guide the viewer to one possible interpretation and open them up to what else could be.
It was Georges Perec’s, ‘The Street’, ‘The Neighbourhood’ and ‘The Town’ that inspired me to use writing as one of my methods of investigation. I was impressed by the style of his writing, almost as a stream of conscious observation rather than a narrative style, and structured my writing in a similar manner. Instead of pure exposition, however, I added a bit of my own voice and descriptive style of writing to write the essay that eventually became the body of work I’d create my proxy with.
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